I’ve been a pediatrician for 24 years, and I thought I had heard everything. Last month, a mother brought her 5-year-old son in for a checkup and immediately announced that they were a “gentle parenting” family and that I needed to “honor his autonomy.” Within minutes, the boy began deliberately spitting at me, repeatedly aiming right at my face. His mother simply smiled and said, “He likes you.”

I stayed calm and gently asked the boy to stop, but his mother became furious. She accused me of traumatizing her child and shouted loudly enough that the nurse opened the door to see what was happening. Instead of arguing, I quietly stood up, picked up the small handheld mirror I keep in my office for showing children their teeth, and held it in front of the boy while he was preparing to spit again.

The boy suddenly froze when he saw his own face in the mirror. He looked at himself, then at his mother, and finally at me. In a quiet voice, he said, “I’m sorry.” His mother turned completely white. I sat back down, finished his examination, and gave him a sticker just like I would any other child.

As they left, the boy stopped at the door, turned around, and waved goodbye. His mother didn’t say another word as they walked toward reception. I’ve thought about that moment many times since then. Sometimes the child is actually the most reasonable person in the room—you just have to find a simple way to help them see themselves and understand the effect of their actions.
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